'look at your life, who do you want to be before you die...'
so i have been listening to this song (amoung a few others that i just can't get out of my system, because they rock so much) and this line stood out to me.
its one of those facts that you can be whoever you want to be, and if a situation so calls for it, you can change to fit in where it is nessesary.
along with that, people do things all the time that they really don't want to do, for example: in my job, i have got to be polite to the people i speak with, or i don't get paid as good. i have supervisors listening to me, so if there is a person being an ass, i can't just say "FU** YOU!!!" and laugh and get on with life. no, i have to be good and take it, and with my implosive habbits that is sooo dangerous. if i was any more into self mutalation, i'd have some terrible evidace because of it. but i hold it in and take it like a good lil pycho.
mmmm
anyways, that always gives a bit of food for the head, and maybe the brain, but lots of people don't have those, so head is a safe word to say. heh.
ah
so being who you want to be, i think that a lot of people do this depending on who you choose to be around. there are some kids who don't swear in front of their parents, and some that do. some kids tell dead baby jokes, (me) and have a very crude way of speaking around some friends, but wouldn't do that around other friends. yeah yeah i am gonna burn in hell for getting such a kick about that kind of joke, but hey, we all have some kind of morbid streak in us, from the people who like to think about murder and rape and violence, to the people who snarf chocolate untill they are sick, we all have something that would make others stare openly. la la la la
who do we choose to be the most, and is that our true self??
when we strip away everything down to the barest core of ourselves, are we who we like, or do we hate what we see when looking in the mirror? (seriously, i hate the tummy area of my body, but i am lazy and i eat too much junk food, so its what i deserve)
who will we be when we die?
are we going to be our purest, most honest self, or are we going to have on a mask?
how many of us are wearing multipul masks, covering one with another over and over untill we lose who we really are?
DON'T BE LIKE IXI AND FRACTURE YER PERSONALITY INTO SO MANY PEICES THAT YOU CEASE TO BE HUMAN, DON'T LOSE YER SELF TO BEING MEARLY LAYER UPON LAYER OF FALSE MASKS!!!!!!!!!!!
that there is prolly cooywrite of Alice LeGrow, who writes Bizenghast, and thus should not ever be used, i hope i don't get sued.
lol
K